Monster in-Laws: A Leading Cause of Breakups
Parents-in-law and in fact your entire in-law family can tear a marriage apart – period. Psychiatrists have their hands full listening to the details of people’s in-law woes.
Unfortunately, it often happens that when you marry your spouse, you also ‘take on’ the family and that can be a blessing or a curse. Some in-laws are bent on destroying your marriage. Good in-laws can be an awesome addition in your marriage, or they can turn out to be nothing but a burden.
Seriously, parents-in-law can be the primary disrupter of a married couple’s chances of having a successful marriage. They can be an accepted justification for divorce and apart from cheating, there are few family problems that cause so many upsets.
Misconceptions and false assumptions leave many couples totally disillusioned, and some in-laws can make it that you readily agree with the saying ‘marriage is like a hot bath – once you get used to it, it isn’t so hot’.
Constantly Overstepping Boundaries
When a young man and woman marry, the ideal situation would be to separate entirely from parents and move far away so as to start life afresh and together. In marriage, allegiance changes from the parents to the spouse. In reality that doesn’t happen and in-laws who live nearby want to have the same input as when their married children were living at home.
They don’t mind overstepping boundaries, and the word ‘privacy’ doesn’t come into their vocabulary.
- They offer advice on cooking, telling you how their ‘child’ likes to have his food cooked.
- They look in disdain at your untidy house and volunteer ideas on how to keep it tidy.
- They invite themselves to your home and have no respect for any schedules you have. They even move things around in your home because they don’t think much of your home-decorating skills.
- They organize your time and if you miss one of their dinners or family gatherings they want to know exactly why.
- They hand over money to your spouse because they’re convinced he or she isn’t being taken proper care of.
Meddling parents-in-law often takes advantage of every opportunity they can to break up your marriage.
A Husband Needs to Back his Wife
In-law problems are vast and varied and include issues such as inconvenience, clashing of traditions, interference and just being total control freaks. How often doesn’t it happen that there is a conflict between the wife and the man’s mother and the husband sides with his mother against his wife.
The husband allows his mother to manipulate decisions so that things happen. He should be making sure that you and him are the team now and that you both need to work on- and agree on the way something should be done, even if it is in contrast to what mother-in-law has in mind.
Your Time-Table is 100% Booked by the In-laws
Monster in-laws have no respect for holiday traditions. Easter, Christmas, weekends and public holidays – they belong to the in-laws – they want you at their house on these days. If you as the in-law son or daughter opt not to attend and you do that just a little bit too often, they find little ways to punish you and get back at you for daring to go against their wishes.
DON’T Let your In-laws ruin your Marriage
Many married couples in these monstrous situations consider divorce. A husband may adore his mother and find that his new wife won’t accept such a strong bond. He may feel that he is constantly in the middle of his fractious wife and mother.
Sometimes in-laws just never gel with each other and the spouse just can’t face a future with tense relationships that threaten to tear the two families apart.
Certainly, there are signs of a marriage’s impending failure, with one or both spouses making threats to leave if the in-law situation isn’t sorted out. Nightmarish in-laws are one of the most common forms of marital failure, with the in-laws gradually creeping into your lives and destroying it.
Statistics for marriage break-ups have never been as high, and in the hectic 21st century, people just don’t have the energy to fight for their marriages, and divorce is the solution. Happily married couples are those able to work out a style of marriage that suits them best, and this means moving away from the in-laws and their damaging effects.
It’s time to make a concerted effort to concentrate on the most treasured person in your relationship – your spouse.